Love is one of the trickiest things in the world. It happens so many times that we think we have found the right person, but actually end up alone again. Still, all is not lost and people hold on to the belief of finding love again in their lives.
There is no examination you have to take for love. What you need to do, however, is that you have to unlearn a lot of habits and lifestyle aspects in order to be more suited for a long-term committed relationship. It will foreclose a lot of difficulties that come riding along with love.
Because, most of the so-called quirks of love are actually disadvantages arising out of the added baggage called the relationship, which almost always accompanies love in our world.
Here are 12 things that will stop you from worrying “Will I ever find love?”
1. Having very high expectations
This is one of those situations when you set the bar unnaturally high. You are dating people, not gods! People are flawed and they will obviously make mistakes in life.
No one is asking you to forgive them if you can’t let it go. Instead of getting disillusioned about the entire institution of love, you have to give it time and heal, and maybe not set the bar that high next time.
2. Asking too much of people
An extension of the previous one, this is when you ask them to live up to standards of the romance novels you grew up reading. Life doesn’t work like that. Despite loving phrases like ‘plucking the stars for you’, you have things like bills to pay on a day-to-day basis. So, try and have some reason for your expectations and wants.
3. You never think of yourself as the problem
Unless you stop playing the blame game and meet your partner half-way, no relationship of yours will ever succeed. Again, people are flawed and you too are one of them. Acceptance on your partner’s side will obviously come only with you showing an effort to work on your flaws.
4. Picking the wrong people
Not sugar-coating it, but in all likelihood, you are so used to thinking that abusive relationships are the way to go. So, you simply end up picking such abusive people over and over again.
5. You ignore red flags
Learn to take your rose-tinted glasses once in a while and think on a practical, self-conscious way.
6. You obsess about things lasting
And don’t concentrate on the good parts that pass you every day. This obsession kills relationships because you simply refuse to acknowledge the magic your love brews every single day.
7. You refuse to communicate
That masochistic pleasure from keeping your partner in the dark is not worth it. Trust us.
Share your sorrows and it reduces itself, much like sharing joy, which only augments it.
8. You refuse to accept the existence of toxicity
No, love is never just enough for a healthy relationship. Abuse is a part of every unhealthy relationship and it needs to be addressed if love is to exist in it in the long term.
9. You think you are too old to find love
No, never. Do not think of age as a barrier and stop looking at your well-settled married friends. There will be someone out there who will match your age with intellect, if not with age. Patience, please!
10. You don’t put yourself out there
You must socialise. If you don’t, how will the ones you’re looking for knowledge of your existence?
Get off your high horse and get into a bar and make a move on the first cute man/woman/person you like. Show effort.
11. You mistake dating with something utterly complicated
It really isn’t. However, it indeed is something very organic. It will make sense at the moment, and you will know.
12. You think love makes everything better
It does, but not in the way you think. It is tiring and needs care and protection and a lot of (self)-nurturing too.
