WHAT IF INSTEAD OF AN OBSTACLE, SEX WAS A PATHWAY TOWARD A SPIRITUAL LIFE?
Those of us who have been raised with religious backgrounds have often been taught that sexuality and spirituality are opposing forces, that you cannot be virtuous if you have sex because sex is a “sin” or is “unspiritual.”
Prior to dogmatic ideologies, sexuality was respected for thousands of years as a sacred expression of nature’s life force and the mystery of creation. Although I’ve written about the value of Sexual Transmutation, or sexual abstinence in the past, I want to make it very clear in this article that sex can also work as a catalyst for cultivating spiritual well-being.
To lead a spiritual life you need to embrace and respect your sexuality just as much as any other part of your nature. Although sex has been linked to many dirty and “perverse” ideas, the act of lovemaking can truly be something sacred and profound.
HOW TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL GUILT AND SHAME
Sexuality is a taboo topic in our society because it is one of those primal forces which we consciously or unconsciously feel powerless to control. Deep down, we sense that it is connected to that unknown universal source of energy from which we came from and continue to exist within.
The feeling of shame is one of the biggest obstacles most of us face in learning to embrace our sexuality. In a culture that has infected us with the notions of virtue and shame; where a murder scene on television is more “viewer-friendly” than a lovemaking one; where women were once thought of as incapable of experiencing an orgasm, it becomes apparent how difficult it is to openly accept and acknowledge this life force that exists within us.
Shame is an emotion that we’re taught by our families and communities. Since a very young age we’re taught what we “should and shouldn’t feel bad about,” and as a result of this we develop the capacity to experience guilt. Through guilt we begin rejecting sacred aspects of ourselves and repressing them deep into our Shadow Selves; our sexual desires, quirks, attractions and fantasies.
I’ve even seen some people deny their sexuality, dismissing it as a “lower physical instinct/vibration” or claiming to “rise above it” as if there is a division between “lower” physical cravings and “higher” spiritual functions when we are seeking wholeness. Sex forms the base notes of your Spirit’s musical melody.
Of course, you are more than solely a sexual being: your sexuality doesn’t define you, but it is apart of you. But it’s by denying it as a part of you that you create blockages of energy within your body that perpetuates the fragmentation of your soul, keeping you incomplete and restricted instead of expanded and whole.
Ironically, it is the sexual orgasm that gives us a taste of soulful expansion, of transcending our limited selves, and feeling boundless for the first time in our entire lives (if only a momentary glimpse).
SPIRITUAL SEX: 3 TYPES OF DIVINE UNION
Many of us haven’t been taught that sex is actually a powerful tool of transcendental development. In fact, spiritual sex is the quickest and easiest way to have something resembling a mystical experience.
The powerful thing about sexual energy is that it’s one of the few instincts within us that can rarely be completely “civilized.” If you are tired at home from work and a friend offers you to go out to watch a movie you may pass on the offer. But if you were to meet an attractive person instead who was to make him/herself available to you, it would arouse a deep energy within you that you weren’t aware existed.
Any type of ecstatic experience – like sex – is an ideal starting point to begin cultivating spiritual moments of “no-mind” and bringing them naturally into our daily lives. In my experience, there are three main types of sex that you can benefit from:
1. THE ALERT UNION
Most first time sexual experiences with partners fall into this type of union. When we make ourselves vulnerable, intimate, exposed and “work” toward that mutual pleasurable moment of bliss, our conscious awareness becomes heightened by the novelty of exploring the other person’s body.
This union is not so much a mindful awareness but an alert awareness that instinctively takes over. Our feelings of vulnerability and excitement make our natural adrenaline mechanism stimulate alertness making the experience much more primal than spiritual. This type of sex is very addictive as the novelty of pursuing new sexual partners rewards us with that momentary “god-like” state of consciousness.
It’s typical however that as our sense of vulnerability and stimulation weakens so too does our desire for the first type of love-making (The Alert Union).
In The Conscious Union, we learn how to cultivate a more balanced form of spiritual sex, one that creates harmony between the passionate animal and sensually playful sides of our sexuality. In The Conscious Union we listen to our sexual desires, explore our bodies and those of our lovers, build deeper intimacy through eye-gazing, sensually caress, and follow our deepest forms of sexual expression. These often generate intense feelings of union and love that briefly take us beyond our sense of self.
It is through this practice of conscious union that we can reach the next stage of soulful union.
3. THE SOULFUL UNION
There’s a beautiful term in the Sanskrit Tantric scriptures known as “Maithuna”which literally translates to “sexual union.” Maithuna is one of Tantra’s most important teachings as it makes use of conscious “sexual intensity” as a ladder that ascends to greater heights of intensity, focusing upon the illumination of the soul rather than solely on physical sexual pleasure.
The sexual urge derives its strength from the body and our emotions, and by itself is not powerful enough to lift us to new levels of conscious awareness. It is Tantric sex that helps us to experience a true sexual Soulful Union by helping us to embody our Soul. This type of sex can only be described as a feeling of boundless pure bliss, warmth and identity-merging (or ego loss) especially during orgasm.
If you would like to experience Soulful Union via spiritual sex, here are some recommendations:
- Stay celibate for as long as you can. This will increase your sexual energy so that you can learn to channel it. You may feel a tingling sensation in your lower back, this is your kundalini energy which assists in the experience of Unity.
- Set aside time to dedicate only to your partner. Create a sensual space with candles, soft ethnic music, silken robes, aphrodisiac fragrances, and so forth.
- Sit in front of each other and lightly move your hands over your partner’s body (to awaken their nerves). Allow your soft strokes to tingle through their body, but don’t allow your hands to pass over their erogenous zones (nipples, penis, etc.), only near them. Prolong this state of arousal for as long as desired.
- Sit in each other’s lap (called the “yab-yum” position) and breathe each other’s breath. This allows both of you to consciously harmonize with each other.
- Maintain eye-contact throughout intercourse. Witnessing the act of love-making allows you to stay present and see something of immense beauty.
SPIRITUAL SEX CONNECTS US BACK WITH OUR CENTER
Sexual energy is the bridge back to our Source; it is our connection back to the Life force. The physical, emotional and mental benefits of a healthy sex life are well documented and cannot be denied. Anyone who tries to make you feel ashamed about sex is an enemy of your spiritual growth.
I’ve come across so many couples who feel as though something is missing in their sex lives making it seem boring and aimless. We need to bring back our spiritual lives into our sexual lives and enjoy a loving communion with not only our partners, but with existence itself.
Sex that remains purely sex becomes a distraction and ultimately stagnates your spiritual growth. But when sex becomes an opportunity to return to the Source and becomes a doorway of transformation to higher states of awareness – it gains a whole new purpose.
In future articles I plan to explore the exhilarating but taboo world of ancient sexual practices. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your experiences with sex. How has lovemaking helped you on your spiritual path, and do you have any tips? Please share below.
by
Credits: Enlightened-Consciousness.
It is something sacred. That’s why you’re supposed to save it for marriage.
KrisKristina Ballard
Sex is NOT sacred! Its how we reproduce….all the other BS we have added over the millenium….to say sex is sin without being married is BS!
Says who???? The catholic Church???..give me a break…these clowns are into people control by fear and ignorance….the main reason I dumped religion 45 years ago!
Why are you even reading this post? Sexuality is obviously not sacred to you so why do you care what I believe? Catholicism is not the only religion that believes that btw.
I used to have this state of mind but I realized that there is a higher power. I’ve experienced His miracles. You are the ignorant one if you believe that and it shows your lack of respect for women. Science even indicates that there is a God. You can’t make life unless it’s from life itself. So who created us? It had to have been something living and intelligent. A tornado going through a junk yard isn’t going to spit out a perfectly working lambrogini. So why would the “big bang” make a world like this?
But you should do a little more research on the subject before you start posting on here sir.
Nice to read your words in this moment of my life when I really feel changing a lot and especially towards sexuality. After 32 years of purely materialistic expression, I need something different and without being aware of it I can see changing my way of being on its own. Thanks for your insight. It is a totally new world to me but starting to live sex in such a deep and intimate way carries its own charm and aura. I guess it is time for some deep love and real feelings after many years of what now looks empty repetitiveness! All the best & I hope to read on more on this. Chiara
I implore you to read Wilhelm Reich’s ‘The Function of the Orgasm.’ He was Freud’s portage until he opposed some of Freud’s stated views on some sexual aspects in human behavior. When Reich fled Germany when Hitler came to power he oversaw 40 clinics around Europe that helped people with mental and sexual issues. The clinics all followed Reich’s regimen in what questions the patients were asked. The consultations were recorded and Reich’s earlier statement that regarding sex ‘religious dogma is contrary to human nature’. He also found that +90% of all mental illness stems from neurosis and 100% of neurosis were due to a lack of an orgasm.Reich fled Germany for America where he discovered Orgone in the ether. He found a way to harvest Orgone with his ‘Orgone Accumulator’. He demonstrated lighting up an electric bulb with the potential difference inside the accumulator caused by the harvested orgone. He discovered that Orgone is released into the ether during orgasm. The amount of Orgone released depends exponentially on the amount of love between the partners.Reich started healing cancerous mice and a leading dermatologist wrote an article stating that any doctor that does not use the Orgone Accumulator to treat serious burn wounds should be charged with criminal negligence. This vital energy turns into poison in our bodies if not released. Procreation is second only to survival as primal instinct. It also happens to be the most fun we can have if the couple are both enjoying the act. Reich was obviously seen as a major threat by pharma. For crossing a state line to deliver an Orgone Accumulator without a permit he got hauled in to court for a commercial transgression and sentenced to two years in prison. Shortly before his release from prison Reich suddenly died due to heart failure. The US Government razed his laboratory and incinerated all his research papers and every tape recording they could find. Fortunately most of his published books survived. IMHO Reich’s discoveries on human psyche and the vital role of orgasms therein is more beneficial to our specie than Tesla’s enormous technological contribution. A sailor scince 16yrs i am now 60yrs young. Due to long periods at sea i achieved level ‘Knees buckle in shower’ when i take myself in hand. After reading Reich’s ‘Function….’ i changed my fantasies in the shower from the excitement of the groupies waiting for me backstage after my sellout performance or me as Clint Eastwood getting lucky with a Hollywood Star to making LOVE to single females i have met. For me orgasmic release became more ecstatic and the satisfied glow afterwards lasts much longer. Never forget that all Christians take a vow when getting married to have sex only with the spouse ’till death do us part…with God as our witness. Even after divorce any sexual union is breaking a vow we made with God as our witness. The guilty feeling for breaking the marriage vow some of us brings with to sex after divorce is a major handicap for the growth of a new relationship. Look for Wilhelm Reich on You Tube. .