Arguments are normal in our lives but when we fail to remain calm in tough situations, it escalates the trouble. Since we cannot control others, we must try to change ourselves and try to be calm and understanding when others are angry. Although certain hormones in our body make us take the fight or flight mode, there are ways to be patient and calm in these situations.
Pause and breathe
By taking a moment to breathe, you actually make the parasympathetic nervous system to work to keep you calm. It also prevents you from reacting instantly, which no doubt creates more problems. By relaxing other body parts, it will be easier to think rationally.
Listen to others
Communication is very important to avoid misunderstandings. When you carefully listen to what others have to say, you avoid the mistake of jumping to conclusions and arguments. Try to understand their opinions and come to a middle ground.
Be honest
By being honest with yourself and to each other, you can avoid petty arguments from developing. Talk about the issues troubling you and sort them out to avoid fights.
Lower your voice
Don’t scream at the other person or interrupt them while fighting as it shows threat and lack of acknowledgment on your part. Talk in a lower voice to maintain civility and to also show that the other person is being heard.
Keep some perspective
Don’t lose yourself in the fight and be misguided by it. By keeping your perspective you can slowly identify how meaningless or ridiculous the fight actually is and it will quickly resolve the issue.
Avoid harmful behavior
According to expert, Dr. John Gottman, four behaviors should be avoided namely, criticizing others’ character, contempt, shutting yourself from others and playing the victim. These will definitely damage relationships. Never tolerate emotional and physical abuse. Don’t do it yourself either.
Be assertive
Don’t let the other person control you and walk over you. Be assertive to come to a reasonable conclusion. Do not dwell on past arguments or be aggressive.
Agree to disagree
It might not be possible always to reach a conclusion. In that case, detach yourself from the problem until it can be resolved. If a solution is absolutely necessary then it’s better to seek professional help.
To conclude
It’s not possible to always handle situations rationally. Neither can you control the reactions of others? So it is best to try to keep your calm and distance yourself from harmful and violent situations. Also, seek support from others.
