A father finds himself at odds with his family when his daughter requests a lavish $200,000 destination wedding in New Zealand. While financially feasible, he considers it a needless display of wealth and initially refuses, leading to tension with both his daughter, who stops speaking to him, and his wife, who believes he should support their daughter’s dream.
Reflecting on the impact of his decision and the strain on family bonds, he reconsiders his stance. To make a more informed choice, he plans to gather quotes for hosting a wedding locally in New York, exploring options for various guest counts to compare costs.
Ultimately, he decides to present an “either-or” decision to his wife and daughter: he is willing to fund either a wedding or a future house for his daughter, but not both. Determined to address this situation thoughtfully, he acknowledges he may face challenges with his wife over the final decision but believes it necessary to set a limit on spending for the sake of practicality.
“My daughter is getting married, and she wishes to have a destination wedding and [I] told her no,” the dad wrote on Reddit.
“My daughter is getting married, and she wishes to have a destination wedding and told her no. My wife feels I should do it because we can afford it, but I find it to be a pointless showing of wealth. Now my daughter is not talking to me, nor is my wife. Which got me thinking should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money, and alienate family members to make my daughter’s dream wedding a reality?
Edit: Forgot to mention she wants to get married in NZ, we also are from NY.
Edit: Forgot to mention she is currently asking for around 200k. This is not counting what guests would have to pay to come.
Edit: Thanks for all of the comments have given me a great deal to think about. Before anything else, I know I am not the father of the year, and I am a spineless coward.
Tomorrow I am going to start making phone calls to price what a wedding in NY would cost at different head counts from 100 to 200 people. I do not know the exact size I just know he also has a large close family.
After I get that information I will use that to make an informed choice, but it will be an either or situation. Because they are playing this game I will tell both of them my wife and daughter that it is a wedding or house.
If my wife makes a fuss over it that is a battle I will have to face at another time.”
One user suggested the couple get married in New York, and instead go to New Zealand for their honeymoon. While others suggested that since the dad said he would pay for the wedding, the daughter should get the ceremony she wants.
