By Giorgos Rachiotis, Truth Inside Of You
Now let’s see how to cope and/or deal with such behaviors and personalities. First of all let us see that if we have to deal with such personalities in our personal life we can either deal with them or just avoid them.When responding to a difficult person the choices you have are simple enough. You can either walk away, change your attitude or even change your behavior so as to turn things for the best. It is always up to our opinion. But what it comes if we have to deal with such personalities every single day in our workplace? Either these personalities are our colleagues, co-workers, boss or even if it is costumers?
Here the things get more complicated. But there are a lot of things to do so as to successfully deal with them and just turn all the bad disadvantages into great advantages for you own and of course your teamwork success so in conclusion for the business success? There are some great tips so as to deal with all the above mentioned difficult personalities that you will find very helpful and I am sure they are easy to follow too.
There are first of all some rules in general to follow so as to help you cope and deal with difficult person’s behaviors.
Do not try to change the different person. This is not something that will work. Difficult people has certain patterns of behavior. So it is a difficult thing to be changed. You can just point out some of their behavior patterns but you are not the one to change it.
Do not take it personally. The difficult person you are dealing with has no problem with you. He/She might has other issues that concern him/her that you do not know about. Emotional problems or even illness and similar issues might occur. So the behavior might be a result of these problems. So do not take it personally.
Seating Boundaries is something that will have to be done from the beginning. You just have to respect the difficult person and ask for respect in advance. You do not have to get into weird situations and scenes in public places etc. just inform the difficult person that you expect just a discussion with him/her and that the solution can be found easily enough if both sides just calm down the nerves.
Acknowledge the difficult person’s feelings. You do not have to agree with the person’s point of view but you just have to know the reasons of why is he or she angry or unhappy or why does he or she has such feelings. Just move to solving the problem with a brief conversation.
Empathy is for sure something that you’ll have to try. Perceive that it must be hard to be stuck in a position of antagonism or indignation. Compassion can now and then help deescalate a touchy circumstance. Troublesome individuals some of the time simply need to be heard yet don’t have the aptitudes to convey that in a more fitting manner.
Hold Your Ground. Show others how to treat you. Don’t open the route to difficulties. With expert riflemen, you may need to uncover their conduct freely to other colleagues.
Use Fewer Words. With troublesome individuals, less discussion may be more compelling. Utilize short, succinct messages to effectively express your idea, and set a period restrict on to what extent you’ll take part in the discourse. Abstain from utilizing the statement “state of mind” in light of the fact that the individual will see this as subjective. Rather, concentrate on the conduct.
In spite of the fact that these tips aren’t ensured to work assuredly, you’ll discover them supportive much of the time. Keep in mind at last, the main conduct you can positively control is your own.
So after those simple tips that were presented here and are simple enough to follow as a first touch to dealing with difficult persons and their habits, personalities and behavior, there can be a lot more tips and tricks for a better approach to coping with such manners.
Let me take every single difficult personality category one by one and try to show some little tips of dealing with it.
Let’s say that in your workplace for example you have to deal with your hostile boss or the hostile behavior of one of your co-workers or even your costumers. What is the best reaction when dealing with this category? Managing hostile people requires both civility and quality. Since persons who feel they have been wronged are more prone to be pugnacious and fierce, you ought to first attempt to make sure they have been managed reasonably. So first of all be reasonable enough. Furthermore, it would be savvy to help them help as could be expected under the circumstances without fortifying their forcefulness or separating to support them. Moreover, dodge collaborations with them that empower extreme feelings or dangers of viciousness.
As a rule, solid countering against a forceful individual is the most noticeably awful thing you can do. Frightfulness sires terribleness. Danger raises. Dangers of discipline may additionally work. Keep in mind discipline is just powerful while the punisher is watching.
In the event that you can redirect the irate individual’s consideration regarding some significant undertaking or a quiet examination of the circumstances, the annoyance ought to subside. Likewise, offer him/her any data that would clarify the circumstances that miracles him/her. Bring up likenesses or regular diversions between him/her and the individual they are desperate at (you). Give him/her a chance to see or find out about smooth, levelheaded methods for determining contrasts. Very nearly anything that gets him/her reasoning about something else will offer assistance.
By just following these simple rules/matters it is not sure that you will avoid hostility 100% but for sure you will decrease it a lot.
One other category is the Chronic Complainers category. Someone would ask. Shouldn’t we think about the Chronic Complainers or what I like to call them constant grumblers? They are deficiency discovering, faulting, and sure about what ought to be carried out yet they never appear equipped to amend the circumstances without anyone else’s input. Regularly they have a point — there are genuine issues — yet their whining is not powerful (with the exception of it is intended to demonstrate another person is dependable).
Dealing with Complainers includes, first and foremost, listening and asking elucidating inquiries, regardless of the possibility that you feel regretful or erroneously charged. There are a few don’ts: don’t concur with the protestations, don’t apologize (not quickly), and don’t get to be excessively protective or counter-assault on the grounds that this just aims them to restate their grumblings all the more heatedly. Also, as you assemble truths, make a critical thinking mentality. Be not kidding and strong. Recognize the certainties. Get the dissentions in composing and in exact point of interest; get others, including the malcontent, included in gathering more information that may prompt an answer. Notwithstanding what isn’t right, ask “What ought to happen?” If the murmurer is troubled with another person, not you, you may need to ask, “Have you told (the complainer) yet?” or “Would I be able to set up a gathering with them?” Thirdly, arrange a particular time to settle on choices helpfully that will help the circumstances… and do it. Simple enough isn’t it?
Let me go straight forward to one of my favorite categories. The super agreeable or what we use to say them the Yes Person category.
Persons who are super pleasant and smilingly concur with your thoughts until some activity is obliged, then they back up or vanish. Such individuals look for support. They have adapted, likely as kids, that one technique for getting “affection” is by telling individuals (or imagining) you truly watch over and/or respect them. So also, the super-agreeable persons will regularly guarantee more than they convey: “I’ll accomplish the report today” or “I’d want to help you clean up.” They are specialists in phoniness, so don’t attempt to “adulate them.”
Rather, console the super-appropriate that you will even now like them regardless of the fact that they let you know reality. Request that they be open and make it simple for them truth be told: “What a piece of my arrangement is alright however not on a par with it could be?” Help them abstain from making swears up and down to they can’t keep: “Would you say you are certain you can have the cash by then? What about after two weeks?” Tell and reveal to them you esteem their fellowship. Tell them you are prepared to trade off on the grounds that you know they will be more than reasonable.
Dealing with this category of people is simple enough as you have seen but of course there are things that we should be concerned of.
Let’s go furthermore and see one more category. The Know it All category. People that seem to know it all and present themselves as experts. So The Know – it – All Expert category should fit more for naming this particular one. Let’s see.
Know It All Experts are of two sorts: the positively able, gainful, confident, bona fide master and the incompletely educated individual claiming to be a master. Both might be an agony.
The genuine master may act unrivaled and make others feel doltish; they may be cantankerous and fretful with contrasting notions; they are regularly confident, needn’t bother with or need any assistance, and would prefer not to change. In the event that you are going to manage the genuine master as an equivalent, you must get your work done completely; else, they will reject you. Most importantly, hear them out and faultlessly summarize their focuses. Don’t assault their thoughts yet rather bring up issues that recommend choices: “Would you let me know more?” or “What do you think the results will be in five years?” “It likely isn’t a feasible decision however might we be able to consider…?” Secondly, demonstrate your admiration for his/her capability yet don’t put yourself down. In conclusion, if the master cannot figure out how to consider others’ thoughts, you may be insightful to charitably acknowledge a subordinate part as his/her “assistant.” True specialists merit regard.
The vainglorious however not-genuine master is moderately simple to manage in light of the fact that he/she (not at all like liars or cons) is frequently unconscious of how little he/she knows. Such an individual might be tenderly gone up against with the certainties. Do it when alone with them. Help them conceal any hint of failure face. They just need to be appreciated.
Now one other category are called The No People or what we all call them The Pessimists. So what about them? Simple enough. An alternate “trouble” to any gathering is the cynic –the individual who dependably says, “It won’t work” or “We attempted that.” These irate, intense individuals have the ability to drag us down in light of the fact that they blend up the old pool of uncertainty and dissatisfaction inside us. In this way, most importantly, abstain from being sucked into his/her cesspool of misery. Don’t contend with the doubter; don’t promptly offer answers for the challenges anticipated by the cynic.
Rather, put forth hopeful expressions — demonstrating that change is conceivable — and sway the gathering to conceptualize prompting a few conceivable options. At that point ask what are the most exceedingly terrible conceivable outcomes of every option (this gives the negativist an opportunity to do his/her thing however you can utilize the desolate forecasts within a productive, critical thinking way). Likewise ask, “What will happen on the off chance that we don’t do anything?” Finally, welcome everybody’s help except be ready to do only it in light of the fact that the doubter won’t volunteer.
Maybe the last category that I want to analyze a little bit further is the Staller category. Every group/workplace has a “staller,” a person who puts off decisions for fear someone will be unhappy. Unlike the super-agreeable, the staller is truly interested in being helpful. So, make it easier for him/her to discuss and make decisions. Try to find out what the staller’s real concerns are (he/she won’t easily reveal negative opinions of you). Don’t make demands for quick action. Instead, help the staller examine the facts and make compromises or develop alternative plans (and decide which ones take priority). Give the staller reassurance about his/her decision and support the effective carrying out of the decision.
Obviously, these tips are generally simply beginning stages in your exertions to better adapt to the troublesome individuals throughout your life.
I could keep on analyzing all the different categories that were presented up until now but I am of the strong belief that up to this point everyone has seen the different kinds of situations and how to deal with difficult personalities. By having in mind all the above tips and/or tricks I think that everyone can deal with any difficult category that might occur.
Now let me present you one other category and how to cope with it. Difficult costumers! For sure a category that every and each one of us have met in our workplace at least one.
Managing difficult costumers could be testing. In any case in the event that you handle the circumstances well, you may even have the capacity to enhance your relationship, and make further open doors.
Verify that you listen energetically to his issues or protests, and fight the temptation to interfere with or take care of the issue immediately. Be empathic and comprehension, and verify that your non-verbal communication imparts this.
In case you’re not certain how to settle the circumstances, then ask your customer what will make him euphoric. In the event that it’s in your energy, then accomplish it as quickly as time permits. Catch up with your client to verify he was content with how the circumstances was determined.
There are some steps to follow or if you prefer some rules so as to deal with them and have the desired result.
First of all you have to Adjust Your Mindset. Once you’re mindful that your customer is troubled then your first necessity is to place yourself into a client administration attitude. This implies that you set aside any emotions you may have that the circumstances isn’t your issue, or that your customer has committed an error, or that he or she is providing for you out of line feedback. The only thing that matters is that you understand that your client or customer is disturbed, and that it’s dependent upon you to take care of the issue. Modify your mentality so that you’re giving 100 percent of your center to your customer, and to the current circumstance.
Secondly you just have to Listen Actively and very carefully to what the costumer has to say. This is the most important step/rule you have to follow when dealing with difficult costumers. You must have in mind that your costumers wants and/or needs to be heard. Starting the conversation with a neutral attachment is the best you have to do. Say for example “Let us go through and review the problem from the beginning”, or even “Please can you tell me the reasons of being upset or worried about”? Two statements that will create something like a partnership with your costumer and will lead him to the conclusion that you are ready to listen. But be sure to resist from trying to solve the problem immediately. Listen and then think what you might do or can do about the situation. And over all do not allow anything or anyone to interrupt this conversation.
The next step/rule is just to Repeat Your Costumers Concerns. That simple. As long as you are sure enough that your costumer has said everything that he had to tell you, just repeat what matters to him so as to be sure that you understood clear enough. Asking some questions too about the problem is always helpful. By just doing this simple thing your costumer is sure that you were listening and that you are trying to solve his/her problem. This will help him/her to lower the anger and the stress levels that previously had.
Empathy and Apologize is the next step. As long as you have understood your costumer’s problem try to show a little empathy and to show that you have completely understood his/her concerns. Apologize to him for the problem and use your body language to show him/her that you really feel what you are saying.
Next step is as simple as the previous one. Just pick up and present a solution. There are so many solutions that you can present but for sure there is only one or maybe two that will please your costumer. So if you are completely sure of what solution would please him/her just present it and ask if he/she wants you to handle it so as to correct the problem and with what way. Just so simple. Now if you are not completely sure of what your costumer really wants just present your solution and make it clear to him/her that he/she can propose a different one that will be more pleasant to him/her.
Take Action, Follow Up and Use the Feedback is the last step that you must follow. When you and your costumer agreed about the solution you just have to be quick enough and also to be sure that there will be no other complains. Just reach your costumer by phone after the problem is solved and ask him/her if everything is ok this time. This is something that will make your costumer feel more secure for any other problem that might occur. Feedback is also a very helpful thing to use. It will help to reduce the risk of similar situations and problems happening again.
There are some more tips to follow about difficult costumers that will help you ease your life in your workplace.
- Be professional with every single costumer.
- Talk slowly and calmly especially if the costumer is angry.
- Always present solutions
- Always manage your anger and stay calm whatever the problem is or if your costumer is unreasonable
- Know when you have to tolerate things and when you have to walk away from a situation
- Train your team and/or coworkers acting the same
Six simple steps that I am sure that if you follow them your life in dealing with difficult costumers will get easier.
This was just a quick and small review article or paper if you’d like to tell better that I believe will help you deal with different situations. Difficult people can be met in our everyday life either in personal matters or in our workplace. Try to remember all the above information and I am sure that your life will be easier.
By Giorgos Rachiotis, Truth Inside Of You
