Accidentally transferring funds to an incorrect recipient is a common error many of us might face. But what do you do when you find yourself on the other side of the equation, receiving funds by mistake from someone who actually owes you money?
Here’s how I managed the situation, only to find myself cast in the role of the antagonist.
In Reddit, we found the below story:
“A few days ago my ex-husband mistakenly transferred two payments of 8700 and 9275. He did this at around 7:40am in the morning and I didn’t notice because I had just worked a double/night shift and was getting ready for bed. So my phone was charging on the nightstand. At the same time my 4 children were at my parents and so I planned to sleep away half the day. I guess he realized his mistake around 8:30am and by then I was dead asleep. I woke up at around 4pm to at least a hundred missed calls and maybe 150 texts asking and begging me to sent him back the money.
My initial thoughts were to send it back but then I remembered he owed me 12000 and hasn’t payed me back since I lended it to him 4 years ago and he’s had a million excuses why he can’t pay me back and yet I always see him living it up. I kept the amount he owed me and returned only 5975 and told him I deducted his debt. Since then I’ve had him call me every book in the name because this was apparently money he was saving to buy his girlfriend a engagement ring, the engagement venue etc so according to him he had to tell her.
This then led to it ruining the surprise engagement he planned for the next weekend. His girlfriend has been bad mouthing me and it has caused a bit of a shit storm with me having to shut down my social media and even his parents who I had a cordial relationship has been impacted by it.
I discussed the situation with a friend and colleague and it was overheard by another colleague and he has called what I did a dickhead move and I guess he shared it with a couple of other people and now I’m not to sure anymore on whether I am being a asshole or not. Is this a asshole move?
Edit- The money was loaned to him after our divorce we’ve been divorced for 7 years and I loaned him the money 4 years ago after he had lost his job and fell behind on bills and his rent. This has nothing to do with his child support payments (of which he is also behind on) and that’s being handled by family court/the child support company. There are texts of him asking for a loan and it included a repayment plan and time but he never stuck to it. So there’s a legal trail if he ever decided to involve the law but I seriously doubt he would because it would cost way more to sue me and I think I would’ve won in court since I only deducted his debt to me.
Yes he is the father of our 4 kids. I also didn’t deduct the overdue child support payments because that is being handled by the courts and I don’t want to muddy the water and get myself in trouble. The child support company is aware of his arrears and if I’m not mistaken he will need to start paying soon or they’ll start garnering his wages.
Edit 2- Yes I could’ve sued him for the debt but it would’ve cost me way more to hire a lawyer. Suing someone isn’t cheap. Lawyers cost real money and a lawsuit takes real time.
Edit 3- When I say “then I remembered he owed me money” you have to understand I had just woken up after having worked a double shift (I’m a nurse) and I was still kind of exhausted when I woke up, I could barely remember my own name let alone anything else so my initial instinct was just to return the money but I quickly got to my senses!”
However, following the response from my ex and the feedback from my coworkers, I’m starting to question if accepting the money was a mistake. I’m eager to hear what others think and if there might have been a more appropriate approach to handling the situation.
